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    Bal Thackeray

@fakebalthakre’s Open Letter to the @ShashiTharoor

Posted by fakebalthakre on April 18, 2010

Tharoor dear,
It is the time that you and I had the heart to heart talk. As one fellow having the good hair to another. Because you know, Hindusthani fellows love the heroes having the good hair. Which, also as you know, is the 99.9% reason for the both of our political success.

Splitting Hairs: Left: Reasonable but Bad Hair (Not so successful), Right: Idiot but Great Hair (Successful)

So, as your senior in the hair club of the Indian politics, it is my duty to provide you the some valuable life lesson. Your hair makes your success inevitable, but you will have to learn following rules by heart to expedite the inevitable success. These rules are telling the ratio of personal ethics to the rewards in Hindusthani public life:

  1. Threaten to cut off hands of the mussalmans = Election as MP to Lok Sabha
  2. Actually cut off hands of the mussalmans = Election as Chief Minister of major Hindusthani state
  3. Claim aftershock of earthquake caused by falling tree caused accidental death of 3000 Sikhs = Election as Prime Minister of all Hindusthan
  4. Reduce daily news to the nonsensical sensationalist trivia = Get Padma award
  5. Become largest holder of ‘Benaami’ property in all Hindusthan and abroad = Become BCCI & ICC President
  6. All rounder scumbag = Become IPL chairman
  7. Facilitate creation of consortium to bid for an IPL team in your constituency, and have a close associate acquire substantial sweat equity in said consortium = Your ass will be taken down, mister.
As you will see, despite your considerable hair advantage, you have managed to compromise the lead. For one, there are too many high-sounding faad-faad English words in your ethical assessment. Sometimes, the less is more. Other thing: you are wasting too much time talking to useless middle class twitter fellows. They already have the too much information for their own good, and don’t need your contribution. And none of them vote.
In conclusion, I would say not the failure, but the low aim is your crime. There is still chance for you. Listen well, and make sure hair is kept well groomed. Success is inevitable.
Jai Maharashtra!
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5 Responses to “@fakebalthakre’s Open Letter to the @ShashiTharoor”

  1. Shikha said

    Godawful!!!!! tharoor is such a froger…. &you mr.bal thackrey are up as usual with your hilarious satire!:). ……hmmm wonder why your sainiks arent burning tharoor dummies or singing anti- tharoor slogans.??? anyways jaipl……….. keep blogging…….:)

  2. Nothing short of Super brilliant!!

  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Libin M B, Libin M B, Arjun Arora, democratically, Nasr ul Hadi and others. Nasr ul Hadi said: RT @fakebalthakre: @fakebalthakre's Open Letter to the @ShashiTharoor: http://wp.me/pOawQ-1i […]

  4. Amigo said

    lai bhaari saaheb!!!

  5. Siju said

    Twitter was one of the reason for Shashi Tharoor’s fall, it just magnifies all mistakes and puts it in every day news. If it was not for Tharoor, the big crooks could have continued looting till world’s end. He is like the new recruit in crook gang who was foolish enough to get caught by tweeting about his adventure. Bal or not, he cannot survive in politics.

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